The day was packed with activities and one of them was grocery shopping.  I sighed as I realized that, being the only parent at home, I would have to take my three children with me to Walmart.

This was never good.  My two younger children, adopted from foster care, were a year into being members of the Nardoni household but still were quite over-stimulated at a store and I could almost guarantee there would be a blow-up while we were there.

I looked at my list and did my best to narrow it down so we wouldn't have to be there so long and then I gave my kids their warning that we would be going to the store soon.  I set the time-timer and, with false cheerfulness, bade them to pay attention to it as we prepared to leave.

Getting OUT of the house was less and less of an issue--we typically were successful in leaving without to much trouble these days.  But I knew it was going to be a trick getting through the store without one of them melting down.

So, I packed snacks and a few little distractions and headed out.

When we got there it really seemed all was going pretty well.  In fact, it was almost 3/4 of the way through the shopping list before I noticed anything awry. 

I looked down just in time to see Dakota push Billie. Now, this may not seem like a big deal but when it came to Dakota, you really had to catch things early to avoid a major problem.

Billie had tripped a bit while she was walking (a rather common occurrence at the time) and had run into him. He whirled around without even thinking and pushed her. That was my cue.

I stopped in the aisle and said, “Hey Dakota, I noticed you might be feeling a little yucky about being in the store right now. Is that true?” (Notice, I didn’t attack him or even refer to him pushing Billie.)

Billie, by that time, was getting ready to tattle and had her feelings hurt since she knew she hadn’t done anything wrong. I pulled her close into a hug, since I knew that was what she was needing. That quieted her for the moment.

Dakota, still thinking about my question, slowly nodded his head. I asked, “Is it time for a little break?” I had brought snacks in my purse for just such an occasion. Of course, both kids agreed and we headed to the front of the store.

I pulled the cart to a register and asked a clerk to watch it for me while I took my kids to the bathroom and then we made a beeline for a bench next to the restrooms. We sat, one child on either side of me, and Ezra hanging out on the end, and ate a snack.

When the snacks were done I had the kids do a re-do to address Billie being pushed. (As much for Billie’s sake as Dakota’s.) We practiced asking Billie if she was okay when she pretended to trip and both of them laughed as Dakota gave her a hug instead of a push.

Then, I explained I had a few more things to buy but I was going to set my timer on my phone. If I wasn’t done by the time it went off in 10 minutes, we would head to the cash register to pay and I would return later for the rest of my list when dad got home. Both kids agreed and we went to get our cart.

Now, if I hadn’t stopped at that moment, Dakota would surely have had at least one embarrassing and loud tantrum before we were done that day. (Ask me how I know! LOL) But because I was watching for him to be overwhelmed, I had prepared by having snacks in my purse and I wasn’t afraid to ask for help from the clerk who watched our cart, I was able to finish shopping without incident.

Did it take longer than normal because I stopped? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely!

If you feel like this post helped you, you may be interested in my free video that helps moms like you with the foundational concept that started us on the road to healing.  You can get that free video by clicking here.  One Thing Video

And remember, you are doing amazing things that really matter and you are not alone!  Talk soon,

Sandra